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DE 187 Ullis Karlsson | Tortured for 25 years, but refused to give up!

 

On today's show:

 

“I have always been very sensitive, and I have always had high inner demands for myself.” 

“Being sensitive is not always easy, and you have to adapt yourself, to little yourself, and to be flexible in all situations.” 

“Everything that you don’t express is stored in your body, we don’t know this, many people don’t know this.” 

“I only slept 15 minutes per night, I woke up every night 02:47 the same exact time every night.”

“It felt like a horror movie, every night I dreamt that I was murdered, and blood splattered and I was tortured every night, so every night I woke up my heart was pounding and I had this taste of metal in my mouth, and I was so terrified that I just didn’t know how to continue to live like this.” 

“I left my daughter at home, she was like a couple of months old and I left her at home, and when I went on the tube, I was looking around, and I had this funny feeling that something was missing, and I didn’t know what, and then I realized that it was my daughter.” 

“I just jumped off the next stop and I went all the way back having 1 million thoughts in my mind at the same time, where is she, has someone taken her, has she fallen down on the tube tracks and I then I went screaming all the way down to the station host and asked her to have you found a baby, and she said no, no babies here. I ran home and there i found my key in the door, I didn’t even realize that I had left my keys in and then when I opened the door, there she was just sitting there all dressed in her little car.” 

“I went out walking in the forest and I am all by myself, and I got this really intense pressure on my chest, and I actually think I am going to die, and it’s so intense and it feels like its burning and exploding and shattering into a million pieces at the same time.” 

“I slowly walked back to the cabin, and there in front of the fire many hours later, and for the first time in decades, my mind is completely still, I have no thoughts, no monkey mind, no nothing at all, and that night I am dreaming of a new kind of yoga, and for the first night in decades I didn’t dream that I was being slaughtered or murdered.” 

“That morning I was in awe as to how silent it was, it was so still, and I had this feeling being still within me, not having anxiety or worrying or panic attacks. It was really still and peaceful and I hadn’t experience that in such a long time, so it was really a new and awkward, but a very welcome feeling.” 

“I was always manipulating myself even in Yoga, so this link that ended up in my inbox, Yoga for depressed people, it was a totally different kind of Yoga, it was softer and not so much about asana’s and then I took the whole 2 and a half years of becoming a yoga therapist, and at the very end I met this woman who was introducing yoga for people with pain in body, mind, or spirits, and when I met her and did her yoga, it was like another dimension, it was like another ah-ha moment, and from there, I went on to her education, because for me I could feel it was like coming home, it was finally like coming home to whoever I was.” 

“On Buddhist Meditation, we would be awoken at 4:30 AM and sit in silence till 9:00 in the evening, no talking, no looking into each other's eyes, no writing, no listening to music, no nothing, just complete silence.” 

“I discovered that it wasn’t me who was sick, my soul was perfectly well but it was my behavior was messed up, I was like a drug user, my mental ability was really not working and I had the sensitivity of sounds and lights which made it really hard to live in the city.”    

“Here in Sweden we are so much in the immature part of the feminine and the masculine, which also is one reason for all this stress and burnout, because we are not conscious, we are living in underdeveloped qualities.” 

“Tantra just means path of expansion, so for me everything is Yoga, and Yoga means Union, for me its about unifying the whole of me and to be able to be the beauty and be the light, I also need to dance with the beast, I also need to face my darkness and acknowledge it and not just suppress or hide it.” 

“It always starts with the breath, so when I am saying that I am  breathing, I’m actually saying that I am connecting with the spirit, we are so unconscious on how we are breathing, how we are sitting, how we are walking, how we are moving.” 

“If I can help only one person in the world, it means that it is already working, this whole journey is all about back to basics, and to find happiness within, you can’t feel your empty whole, or your inner emptiness with outer things and the outer reality so everything that you have is already within, its just that we’ve forgotten it, and I can help you remember it.” 

“I am just here to remind you that you are a Human being and not a human doer.”

 

You can follow Ullis here:

Website
www.plainyoga.se
Instagram
@plainyoga
Facebook
Ullis Karlsson
Linkedin
Ulrika Karlsson

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